Misery loves company

As the old saying goes, it is better to commiserate together than alone. Although these “sessions” usually do not amount to much change for most parties involved, there is some comfort in knowing one is not alone in a given situation.

As some know and I’m sure others have suspected the transition to and establishment of my life in the ambiguous land of a post-doc has been a bit harder than I anticipated. The proximity to my family and their support has been my saving grace. However, knowing that this is temporary, not having any sort of “freshman” post-doc class, teetering between students and professionals, and struggling with mentorship at work, are a part of my daily life.

I am partly to blame, because although I have been outgoing and social, at times it becomes daunting to always be meeting new people without a strong, core support of friends; therefore, I have not always taken every opportunity. I did finally make it to one of the (few) post-doc happy hours put on by the campus-wide post-doc association. It was a great time and I met some really fun and interesting people who are in a similar boat – looking for friends just to hang out with. Needless to say, the 4 or 5 of us have been out a few times over the last couple weeks and I went to dinner with one women, S, on Saturday.

S and I come from very different places. She is in A2 via, LA, via MN, via India and I grew-up just over 50 miles away. Her background is in engineering and she works in a totally different area of campus. This was the first time we had a chance to hang out one-on-one and even though we have very different lives, the issues we have with our current situations are very similar. There were numerous times in which we both commented, “I know how you feel, although I don’t really know what to do about it.”

At the end of the evening, my feelings were mixed a bit. Although it is nice to know these issues are not “just me,” it was a tad disheartening that they permeate so many different people’s lives.