Mixed feelings

I will be taking off in a few days for NY to celebrate my cousin's bar mitzvah. His older brother was bar mitzvahed a few years back in '05. I remember then, that the 'advertisements' for this weekends party sparked one of those, what will life be like when..., moments. My maternal grandmother had cancer and passed just a few months after the party. At that time my sister-in-law was just a few months pregnant with their first child and I was only a year in to my PhD. I remember wondering what the upcoming birth would be like and anticipating becoming an aunt. Now Marissa is three and she has a little sister. This will be the first time this side of my family (my dad's family) has met Allison and they have not seen Marissa since she was about 6 months old. I am, and know they all are looking forward to seeing the girls.

An unexpected surprise is that several members of my dad's father's family will be attending as well. Contact was lost, for one reason or another, with this part of the family after my grandfather passed at a young age. I am the only one in my (immediate) family who has met any of these Sherrys. I was able to do my elective rotation for my clinicals with my true-long-lost cousin at Mt. Sinai. During this trip I met several other members of the family as well. I am looking forward to spending more time with my cousin Marisa and her husband, and Marissa (my niece) is very excited about meeting the other Marisa Sherry. I am also a bit anxious about this encounter, as my dad has not seen his first cousins (Marisa's dad and uncle) since he was 17 or 18. My dad was and seemingly now, is not happy about how things were handled after his father's does not care to meet them and would be just as well off if they were not there. Of course, I'm hoping, civility will be the discourse for the evening, however, even if everyone plays nice, it will still be fairly awkward.

I also remember thinking in 2005 about the fact that at this party I would be Dr. Sherry (first and only) and wondering about where I would be working and what I would be doing. I never in a million years thought I would be back in Michigan.

However, the most unforeseen change between now and then, is that my parents are divorced and my dad will be bringing his new girlfriend. It is not unknown that I am not happy about this for many reasons. I feel it is way too soon for her to be coming to a large family event; my mom (how is very close to my cousin) is not coming; and I just plain do not want to deal with it. Most of my family I have talked too is not too keen on her being there either, but my dad has put his sister in a tough spot, and can't ask him to 'uninvite' her, after he asked without consulting anyone else. I have nothing against this women, but there is no place for her in my life, so to me, this is just unnecessarily putting me in a situation I do not want to be in. This will be the first time I will meet her, by choice. I wanted to just get it done and over with all at once.

As with most of life, things are not as I anticipated they would when I looked in to the future 4 years ago; some for the better and some not. Large family gathering themselves usually draw out drama, and with the addition of somewhat estranged long-lost family and a not-so welcomed new girlfriend, the weekend will be interesting.

A few pics from the last bar mitzvah (at least I know the food will be amazing)